I've received numerous questions about being a "MG" and how the heck I made it to this point. I originally had the idea to sit down and film a Q&A with my fiance but life is ridiculously busy and the only time I find myself catching a breath is in the late hours. So, here I am, life cereal in hand and a clock that reads 12:15. I'm here to answer your questions!
Now, keep in mind, I am no "expert" (if that's possible?) and I am only telling you what I believe and have come to know from MY experience. I hope I can help bring some hope and happiness to you!
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This is us. His name is Jacob and he served in the Resistencia, Argentina mission from August 27, 2014 - August 3, 2016. You can read our story here.
My missionary leaves in a few days, how can I prepare myself to be ready for that day? For me, being supportive and happy for him made me feel at ease. It makes it easier for him too when you're supportive! I mean, yes, the tears and sadness will be there, but try to remember the reason behind it all! Also, READ YOUR SCRIPTURES. You will feel so at peace.
Is there a point where it gets easier? Or is the first month just like all the others? Oh boy. This is a loaded question because there are so many things I could say! The first month is hard. You work on getting into a routine, learning his routine, figuring out how to email, etc. I was in school while Jake was gone and I realized that when I was busy, time passed quickly and I wasn't focusing on him being gone as much. So my biggest advice would be to stay busy! Plus, that's what he wants you to do too!
I want to send him something meaningful, any suggestions? Ugh. This was a sore subject for me because customs in Argentina were hooooorrible. J wasn't allowed to receive packages. These were the first two I sent until I was notified that it wasn't allowed. Anyways, if your missionary can receive packages, I would suggest putting together some of his "favorite things." I used pinterest a ton! There are so many cute/clever ideas on there! One thing I remember Jake telling me he loved, was getting letters from his family and unexpected friends. For his birthday I sent a text to a bunch of his friends and family asking them to write a little something to Jake. I gathered all of the notes and letters and put them in an envelope for him to read! Also, ties are always a good option! Jake traded so many ties with his mission friends/companions and I guess that's a thing?? So definitely do that! And make sure that whatever you send can be useful in some way so it doesn't just end up taking up space or end up not getting used. Make sense?
How do you keep a mix between being spiritual and talking about normal things? This was so important for me! Jake would email every Monday, so my routine was to get home from church and write him a "weekly email" the night before. In my email I would always add an experience or just a simple spiritual thought I had the previous week, whether it was in seminary or at church. That way, I felt we were connecting not only on a personal level, but also a spiritual level. It's so important to include those experiences in your emails, at least that's what I believe :)
Convos are getting kinda boring, how did you prepare to ask questions come PDay? Jake was terrible at answering my questions over email. I always ALWAYS left the last page of my letters to ask him my questions. I would literally write, "ok, time for questions!!!!" and then list all of my questions. He would write me back and on the last page, answer my questions and then ask me questions in return! That was a really fun way to still feel in the loop and plus it's always fun getting a letter in the mail! Am I right? There's nothing quite like it.
How did you deal with the really hard days? The first year was pretty tough. I remember having those hard days quite often. I didn't handle them very well either (hah!) I recall watching a lot of chick flicks and rereading the letters he had sent me. There's no shame in missing your man, sometimes you just need a day to splurge and be sad. It's ok. Just don't dwell on it! It will get easier, I promise.
Are there topics you think you and your missionary shouldn't email about? Ah. I need Jake here to answer this one. I always said I love you and told him I missed him, but we tried not to get too ahead of ourselves in talking about the future. It happened occasionally though! Do what you both feel comfortable with. If he doesn't want to hear it or talk about it, respect that and support that! But to me, there's no harm in letting them know they are loved, especially when they are 5,000+ miles
away. It's their 30+ minutes to be "trunky." (hah, Jake and I had two hours ;) )
Did you date other people? YES and I'm so glad I did. Dating around opens up your eyes to so many things! Instead of sitting on my booty for two years, I went to school dances and had fun. I don't regret it at all. Dating made me realize just how much I love jake, too. That was important to me. Don't feel guilty! However, be mindful of your missionary. There was a point where I basically took my eye off "the prize" and hurt the one person I loved the most.
What can you do personally to grow while your missionary is gone? While Jake was gone I still had my junior and senior year of high school to finish, so I still had a lot of time to learn and grow. I think what was most important for me was growing spiritually with J. I wanted to be able to connect with him on that same level and share those experiences with him, even if I wasn't on a mission. Read your scriptures, hang out with friends, participate in baptisms at the temple, etc!
Did you ever have doubts of it working out? Two years is a long time. Yes! I totally did.
How do I stay positive through this all? Look at the big picture. Don't put all your focus on your missionary, be involved with your friends and other activities. Stay busy!
What was it like when he came home? Honestly, I was ridiculously nervous. So so so nervous. Nervous about what he would think of me, what the future had in store for us, if he was going to be completely awkward and weird...but all of that went away when I saw him and gave him the biggest, tightest hug in the whole wide world. That moment really makes the two years worth it.
How did you break the ice/get to know each other again when he returned? Jake's family had a Disneyland vacation planned for the day AFTER he got home and I was invited to tag along! I would definitely say we picked up right where we left off. It was perfect. Nothing like going to Disneyland the day after you return from your mission...(haha!)
How long have you two been together? Three years! Crazy to think how fast time flies.
Keep on keepin' on girls! It'll all be worth it. Have faith. If it's meant to work out it will!
MUCH LOVE. xoxo.
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